Finally. It feels good doesn't it? Just feels right to be back on the Road to Wrestlemania^TM. After an extended break from wrestling, we're all back in for 2016 to be the best year wrestling has ever seen. And what better way to start of the year than with the Royal Rumble? Did it live up to it's classification? Let's find out!

As always, we're answering the three most important questions in the wide world of wrestling:

1. What Happened?
2. What Should Have Happened?
3. Why Should You Care?

The Setup: There's always a few other matches kicking around, but the big one is the Royal Rumble match itself. Thirty men are involved. Each one enters the ring one at a time separated by a minute or so with a big countdown clock. They're eliminated if they're thrown over the top rope and both feet touch the ground. It's one of the more exciting matches in all of wrestling.

Beer of Choice: Plain ol' Yuengling Lager. The beer of Royal Rumbles.

  (Intercontinental Championship - Last Man Standing Match)

1. JBL continued to confirm he's old by referring to an iPad as a Laptop. Then Ambrose tossed Owens through two tables and retained his title.
2. Like last month at TLC, this match could have gone either way. Both are great in the ring and put together awesome matches. Plus, Last Man Standing matches are my favorite "special" type of matches, so there's that.
3. This was a fun match top to bottom. It's hard to imagine them topping this with a regular match, but Ambrose and Owens have a certain kind of chaotic chemestry between them that works wonders.

 (Tag Team Championship)

1. Kofi didn't get pinned because he had his foot...under the rope? When did that become a thing? I just don't...well, then Big E hit his Big Ending off a blind tag and The New Day retained.
2. Keep the belts on the New Day forever! But I'd like to see Xavier Woods get a little more match time. He's clearly capable.
3. The New Day continues to be the best thing going. They are far and away the most charismatic team and Francesca II is the best manager they could hope for.

 (US Championship)

1. Kalisto, after a good handful of botches, threw Del Rio into the turnbuckle he exposed, letting him get the win.
2. Um, I don't really want to see this series of matches to continue. They're both good athletes and all, I just...I don't know. I don't think Kalisto is very good I guess.
3. Well, this either this leads to the US Championship to kick around in the B-League again, or it sets up a Del Rio rematch. Either way, I'm not too excited.

 (Divas Championship)

1. Ric Flair's jacket retains the Divas Championship for Charlotte over my cousin Becky.
2. I'm a bit biased because Becky is directly related to me (no she isn't), but I think Charlotte's heel run has kind of killed it for me. Let someone else have a run at it, or at least have her win without needing Ric there. I know that's what heels do, but jeez, why did he kiss Becky? It's just gross.
3. You should care because then Sasha Banks showed up and was awesome and will immediately win the belt and we're all better for it. Sorry Becky...

And now, the match I've dreaded covering since I started this column with the charicatures...The Royal Rumble! Let's run down the entrants and eliminations and then we'll hit our three questions at the end. I'll also be including some apt names assigned by my girlfriend as she was forced to enjoy this with me. (The elimination numbers are my best guess, when Reigns was getting attacked, things got kinda muddled)

1.  - Eliminated 28th by  (UGH)
2.  - Eliminated 1st by
3.  - Eliminated 11th by 
4.  - Eliminated 2nd by and 
5.  - Elmiinated 3rd by 
6.  (Someone's Dad) - Eliminated 26th by 
7.  - Eliminated 9th by 
8.  (Robut) - Elimated 4th by 
9.  - Eliminated 8th by 
10.  - Eliminated 6th by  (The rest of the New Day tried to help)
11.  - Eliminated 7th by 
12.  - Eliminated 5th by  (After trying to win a ladder match. I think the schtick they give him is pretty bad, but that was funny)
13.  - Eliminated 19th by 
It's at this point in the entrants that the League of Nations started beating up  so he could be carried off on a stretcher
14.  (David Bowie) - Eliminated 14th by 
15.  - Eliminated 10th by 
16.  - Eliminated 13th by 
17.  - Eliminated 20th by 
18. - Eliminated 12th by 
19. (The Redneck) - Eliminated 19th by 
20.  (Sami Sandwiches) - Eliminated 16th by  (I am so glad Sami Zayn is back!)
21.  - Eliminated 17th by 
22.  - Eliminated 15th by 
23.  - Eliminated 21st by 
24.  - Eliminated 18th by 
25.  - Eliminated 23rd by (I think?)
26.  - Eliminated 22nd by
27.  - Eliminated 25th by HHH and 
28.  - Eliminated 24th by 
29.  (Lucky Charms) - Eliminated 27th by
And here makes his grand return.
30.  - Winner

1. So HHH entered himself at the 30 spot to win the WWE Heavyweight Championship.
2. Not that at least. Hell, keep the belt on Reigns, but really, the old guy? Fuck, Ambrose could have had two belts. How crazy awesome could that have been? But instead...ugh.
3. Despite the announcers insistance that this guarantees HHH will headline Wrestlemania, there's still a handful of PPVs before then when he can lose it. Hell, Sheamus lost it on a RAW. Why in the world does this mean he's going to Wrestlemania? Don't make no sense.

Some notes on this match, AJ Styles is clearly a fan favorite and he did pretty damn well in this match, but it didn't seem like the best use of his talents. I am so so so happy Sami Zayn is back. I don't know why, but I really like him. Might just be that Cesaro match back in NXT a ways back. Put him in with Owens and Ambrose, make a good triple threat match for the intercontinental title. That's what that belt always excelled at. Oh man, now I'm even more excited!

The Verdict: 50% of the matches leading up to the rumble were fun watches, the other two, a bit less. But even so, the Rumble is what you come for and it was fun like always. I'm not too pleased with the ending, but at least the crowd didn't boo like crazy. I am interested to see what this means heading into Wrestlemania season, but I'm not sold on it yet.